A Forbidden Love Has Never Taste So Sweet
by Shelby95
Summary: Marlene McKinnon was the only one I ever truly loved... but I died before I could go out into the world and live the life I really wanted. She was my entire heart, but it was a forbidden love; one no one knew about.


A Forbidden Love Has Never Tasted So Sweet is based upon the Harry Potter series written by JK Rowling. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Bloomsbury Publishing, Arthur A. Levine Books, and Raincoast Books [Copyright©1995 to present]

In. Out. In. Out. I watched her breathe slowly, her breasts rising and falling gracefully. Her white blond hair coated her shoulders and fell down to her elbows, while her cerulean eyes remained closed. I let my hand rise and land upon her pale cheeks – she felt hot, although the sweat had dried up by now. My hand treaded down her face and her chest, landing upon her heart, feeling it beat steadily. I felt intoxicated as I lay next to her; her sweet scent of lavender and lemon filled my nose, grooming my soul.

How did I get here? I knew it was wrong, and I knew I shouldn't be doing it. Yet whenever I was around her, I couldn't stop myself. Her toothy smile and soft eyes just grasped me and then suddenly I was kissing her and grabbing her and… I couldn't stop. It was so wrong, but our love was something I couldn't let go of. No matter what.

She started to stir, so I leaned on my elbow and brushed the hair out of her face. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open.

"Hi," She smiled drowsily, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back.

"Hello," I moved my fingers on top of her head, leaning down to lightly press my lips against hers.

"How long have you been up?" She asked me as her eyes poured into mine. Her beautiful eyes…

"Not too long," Lies. It had been about an hour and 14 minutes. I had watched her… her magnificent body. I wondered how she would feel if she knew I watched her.

She nodded, and I felt my breath catch in my throat, remembering what day it was, "James will be home soon."

Her eyes drifted away from mine, and I knew she felt sad. I did too, but it was a truth we had to face. I was going to leave him – it was going to be us. But then I found out I was pregnant… and I couldn't bear it. So I've stayed, and now we have a son. And I don't think I can ever leave him.

"I'm sorry," I told her, kissing her yet again. Her kiss felt distant, and I knew what was going to happen.

She stayed quiet, moving the comforter away from her body. She stood up, and I watched her pull her clothes on. Her curves moved elegantly, and I wanted to say what I've been meaning to say for the past year. I couldn't, however. I had a life: one everyone knew about. But she was my secret life: and the only one I really needed.

"Marlene," I spoke quietly, and she turned around. Her breasts lay limp against her chest, and she cocked an eyebrow as she pulled her bra on over her head.

"Can I see you tonight?" I asked her, letting the words linger in the air. She brushed her hand through her long locks.

"I have a pretty big test I should study for," She smiled at me dolefully, "but I can see you tomorrow night."

I nodded at her, and I knew those would be the last words she said to me all day; at least in person.

Within a matter of minutes, I was watching her descend down the staircase and discretely walking into the early morning, finding her broom and riding back to her apartment on the other side of London. As always, I felt a heaviness invade my heart.

"Good morning, Lily." James walked in, looking gruff and exhausted, kissing me whole-heartedly upon my lips. I kissed back, although I felt disgusted with myself.

"How was your shift?" I questioned, walking into the kitchen and beginning to prepare breakfast. James walked into Harry's room, picking him up and carrying him back.

"Boring, as usual. But I missed you. Very much." I smiled slightly at him. I knew I could never tell him that I didn't love him the way I loved Marlene: and that broke my heart into multitudes of tiny pieces.

"I missed you, too," I lied, pulling out several eggs from the carton. I could feel James lingering behind me.

"What did you do last night?"

I had already prepared my story, "After I put Harry to bed, I listened to some Beatles and went to bed. It was a pretty boring night."

"Sounds exceptionally boring," I nodded at him. Each day it was harder to lie to him… but I knew I truly didn't have a choice. Not if I wanted to keep my son.

"I was thinking we could go dancing tonight," He said from behind me. I smiled at his generosity. He was trying, but I knew it would never be enough. My heart belonged to someone else.

"That sounds fantastic," I stirred the eggs in the pan, and requested James to take over so I could feed Harry. He complied, and I sat upon the couch, pulling my shirt down and letting Harry suckle on my breast. It gave me several moments to consider what I was doing with my life… and whether I wanted to leave James, take Harry, and live happily with Marlene. She felt like my soulmate – but did she feel the same about me?

As we ate breakfast that morning, we chatted pleasantly, but eventually lost our conversation. My owl arrived at the window. I stood up and retrieved the letter, and immediately recognized the handwriting. Marlene's.

I coughed, facing the window and opening the letter. In her beautiful handwriting was a simple letter.

Lily,

I miss you already. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I will be with Gideon tonight, so it worked out for the best that we do not see each other tonight.

Lily, I want to be with you. You are my beautiful flower… the love and light of my life. Un amour interdit n'a jamais goûte si douz.

Have a good evening with James, and wish Harry my best,

Marlene

I felt jealousy boil within my heart. It killed me every time I knew she was with Gideon, and I knew within my heart that that's how she felt about James and I. She would make a wonderful mother, I thought. She loved Harry more than anyone else I knew… and Harry loved her too. I could see it in his face. She was great with him, and it made me wish even more to leave James… he could see Harry, of course, but I wanted to be with Marlene. I wanted a family where I didn't have to lie about who I was. Could it ever happen?

"Who wrote you?" James asked me. I picketed my mind for a believable response.

"Albus, actually. He just wanted to know how we were." I folded the letter, laying it between my bra and my breast, and turned around, smiling brightly.

"Ah," James responded, smiling at me and playing with Harry. If only he knew… and as I sat back down, I was overwhelmed with memories of the previous night.

"It's awful that I want you so much," Marlene told me, biting playfully on my neck. I moaned quietly, letting the feeling take me to another place. I chose not to say anything back, but simply flipped her over and kissed her furiously, letting my hands roam her body. I could feel her move beneath my every touch, and I knew I had her.

I stopped myself before I could get any further. It was wrong to be thinking these thoughts in front of my husband – yet I couldn't help it. It was then that I made my decision, deciphering in my head how I would tell James that I was in love with Marlene… and how I would leave him.

"Everything okay, darling?" James smiled at me, and I forced myself to smile back.


End file.
